things that creep beneathe.

Right now I am kind of in a fog.
Things are really changing around me. It could be the way I see things. The way I view people, and the way I react to situations. I am trying my hardest to keep an open mind to all the changing things but lately I am finding it really hard. I always turn a blind eye when it comes to the actions of the people I love but, I just don't know if I can do it anymore. I refuse to accept others looking at me through a microscope, picking and poking at all of my actions. The only person that should criticize things that I do, say, and feel is the one behind the eyes, words, and heart that do so, me.

Pink Butterflys

Tonight, like the usual Saturday night. I am watching my niece Iysenia. I was just laying next to her while I was giving her a bottle of her formula so that she will go to bed. I was watching as she was holding the bottle herself and taking it out of her mouth and trying to put it back in but it going to her nose. It was really amazing because even though it does belong in her mouth, she is getting way smarter and being able to do things more for herself. She isn't my child, she is my niece but she amazes me soo much, so much that I can't even put it into words. I talk about her every chance I get but I dont think people understand what I mean when I say I love her. She is truly my world. She gives my life meaning. Its weird how baby's do that, they don't say a thing to you and you instantly fall in love with them. I treasure her more then anything in the world. and I would continue but she just fell asleep with the bottle in her mouth so Im gonna go attend to her again :). Goodnight.

controlled and potent emotion

Today we (Art Honor Society & Drama Club) had a field trip. We went to the Frick collection museum in Manhattan and after that we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Everyone in my class was joking about how we were going to the Frick-n-Met. (FrikkinMet) and it was all smiles and joy the whole time. Being surrounded by all the different works of art, truely filled my heart with joy. And being there with amazing people helped as well. It was an overall great day that I will remember forever and ever. All the laughter, new inside jokes, pictures and memories have found a new spot in my heart. Not to mention the unbelievable talent, that not only the famous art work held, but what many of my great friends have as well. I wish I could put into words how amazed I am by all the things I saw and experienced today, but I simply couldn't do it any justice.

let me try and explain

The past couple days have been so wishy-washy, One day it will be pouring so hard you can't keep your toes dry then the next it will be so sunny and delightful. Even each whole day wasn't consistent, it would change its mind every couple of hours, that's when the wind starts howling and your next door neighbor think you stole their trashcan (or in my case the basketball hoop no one ever uses falls over and breaks a window on your first car.) The inconsistency of the weather can drive anyone crazy, for the simple fact you dont know what to wear because one hour you will be sweating the next youll be freezing. To get to my point faster, I kind of like these days. They help me remember that I can't always be prepared for everything, and I really do enjoy them. This is another reason why I like living in this region of New York, the weather is always changing, and I can feel the differences of all the seasons.

Currently I am sitting in my room watching The Sandlot with my hair tided up wet, because I just got out of the shower a little bit ago. I am thinking about yesterday and all the great things that had happend. I got my learners permit, and I was soo exicted it seemed to be a really good day, until little misunderstandings got me feeling low. This happens to me a lot my emotions are always so wishy-washy, just like the weather.